Listen
Spoken version
A recorded reading of “The Vending Machine That Sold Existential Dread”. If the player does not load, use the original audio source.
I walked the hall at half-past three, between the vending slots and seats. A dollar shook within my hand— I pressed a button, made a plan. It should’ve been a bag of chips, a drink, a treat, a midnight fix. But out it slid—too thin, too light, a slip of paper, something’s not right. The words were scrawled, the ink was red: "You are alone inside your head." Did I read that wrong? Did I press too fast? Did the machine just tell me facts? For just one coin, you’ll find the truth! One more press and we’ll show you proof! A snack-sized serving of pure despair— just make a choice… if you dare. I tried again—another pull, expecting candy, soda, fuel. Instead, it spat a single slip, "You will regret your every grip." The vending lights began to glow, each button labeled "Yes" or "No." And when I tried to walk away— a voice just laughed, and made me pay. Maybe fate was always pressed. Maybe coins are just a test. Maybe choice is all a game— maybe buttons choose your name. For just one coin, you’ll find the truth! One more press and we’ll show you proof! A snack-sized serving of pure despair— just make a choice… if you dare. "Thank you for your purchase."
Instructional lyrics
[Intro: A mechanical hum, flickering fluorescent lights. A robotic voice announces:] "Please make a selection." [Verse 1: A twitchy, pulsing bassline kicks in, syncopated drum machines skittering beneath it.] I walked the hall at half-past three, between the vending slots and seats. A dollar shook within my hand— I pressed a button, made a plan. It should’ve been a bag of chips, a drink, a treat, a midnight fix. But out it slid—too thin, too light, a slip of paper, something’s not right. The words were scrawled, the ink was red: "You are alone inside your head." [Pre-Chorus: The beat falters, harmonies rising like whispers in an empty room.] Did I read that wrong? Did I press too fast? Did the machine just tell me facts? [Chorus: Mechanical, repetitive, layered vocals stacking like an infomercial jingle gone wrong.] For just one coin, you’ll find the truth! One more press and we’ll show you proof! A snack-sized serving of pure despair— just make a choice… if you dare. [Instrumental Break: Glitchy sounds, vending machine beeps distorted into an unsettling melody. A robotic voice repeats, monotone:] "Please make a selection." [Verse 2: The bass stumbles, now slightly detuned, as if reality is starting to break down.] I tried again—another pull, expecting candy, soda, fuel. Instead, it spat a single slip, "You will regret your every grip." The vending lights began to glow, each button labeled "Yes" or "No." And when I tried to walk away— a voice just laughed, and made me pay. [Bridge: The rhythm slows—just a deep, pulsing heartbeat of a bass note. The vocals turn into a whispered chant.] Maybe fate was always pressed. Maybe coins are just a test. Maybe choice is all a game— maybe buttons choose your name. [Final Chorus: The full band crashes back in—chaotic, distorted, like a late-night infomercial at the end of time.] For just one coin, you’ll find the truth! One more press and we’ll show you proof! A snack-sized serving of pure despair— just make a choice… if you dare. [Outro: The vending machine beeps one last time. A robotic voice murmurs, almost amused:] "Thank you for your purchase."
Song info
Indie art-rock w/ playful yet eerie vibes. Offbeat groove, surreal spoken-word moments, bouncy bass, warped synths, theatrical harmonies. Psychedelic yet absurd, like a dream unraveling.
No published comments yet.