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A recorded reading of “The Floor is a Suggestion”. If the player does not load, use the original audio source.
Left foot lands, but the ground moves first, Right foot’s fine—until it’s worse. Tables tilt, the walls liquefy, And now the doorway’s in the sky. The floor is a suggestion, nothing stays still! The ground’s just a rumor, believe it if you will! The rules were written in erasable ink— And the eraser’s laughing at you. The sidewalk snakes, the skyline spins, Every door’s a hallway in disguise. The map says "You Are Here" in red, But the dot keeps moving every step.
Lyrics
"Step carefully. Not everything here is built to hold your weight." Left foot lands, but the ground moves first, Right foot’s fine—until it’s worse. Tables tilt, the walls expand, And now the doorway’s in the sand. Streetlights bend like candle flames, The stairs go up but end the same. Gravity blinks, the ceiling sways, I think I might be sideways. Is it me? (Me… me… me?) Is it shifting? (Shifting… ting… ting?) Was the room always this forgiving? Take a step… (Step… step…) Take a breath… (Breath… breath…) Are you falling yet… (Yet… yet… yet?) The floor is a suggestion, nothing stays still! The ground’s just a rumor, believe it if you will! The rules were written in erasable ink— So run if you want to, but mind where you sink! The sidewalk snakes, the skyline spins, Every door’s a hallway in disguise. The floor’s polite—it lets me stand, Then laughs and waves as I slip inside. The chandelier’s got vertigo, The lightbulbs hum and synchronize. The chairs align to block the door— They must know something I don’t realise. Is it me? (Is it me?) [left ear] Is it shifting? (Shifting? Shifting?) [right ear] Was the room always this forgiving? Take a step… (Take a step…) [pitch warps] Take a breath… (Breath… breath…) Are you falling yet… (Yet… yet… yet?) The floor is a suggestion, nothing stays still! The ground’s just a rumor, believe it if you will! The rules were written in erasable ink— So run if you want to, but mind where you sink! "Don’t… don’t… looook… lo-o-ook… dowwwwn…" "Put your weight on something real… If you can find it…" The floor is a suggestion, nothing stays still… The ground’s just a rumor, believe it if you will… The rules were written in erasable ink… So run if you want to, but mind where you sink… "Well… good luck with that."
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