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A recorded reading of “Where My Face Should Be”. If the player does not load, use the original audio source.
The roof keeps its red teeth closed under my shoes. I pull the wool around my ribs as if a cardigan could teach a body where its edges are. My white skirt catches on a rusted lip. The wind reads it, misreads it, lifts the page again. I left my name in the stairwell. It is still there, leaning against the bannister, small and breathing. Inside, my phone lies face-down, ashamed of its own light. Someone calls from the pavement. I hold still and let the ringing climb past me. I am not waving from the roofline. I am trying not to leave. Each breath grows blue. Then bluer. Then large enough to rent the space where my face should be. A cloud arrives with no weather behind it. It does not cover me. It practises me. From the street I must look almost fine: two boots, one skirt, a careful pair of knees, hands tight on the wool like buttons could hold down thunder. The sky greys itself in a basin of old water. The block forgets its windows. A bird on the gutter tilts one black question towards my missing mouth. I wish I knew how to answer when the world asks whether I am fine. I am not crying. I am weather. I am not gone. I am the room behind the smoke where your voice still moves the furniture. Do not ask the sky what I could not say. Hold out your hand. Somewhere inside the cloud, my name begins to find its bones.
Lyrics
Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me Roof tiles cold under my shoes I pull the wool around my ribs White skirt caught on a rusted lip Wind keeps lifting what I hid I left my name in the stairwell left my phone face-down inside Someone calls up from the pavement I hold still and let it ring twice I’m not waving from the roofline I’m just trying not to leave Every breath gets big and blue till it covers all of me Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me I look fine from the street but I’m hard to reach Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me Say my name, say it clean bring me back to me My hands are tight on the cardigan like buttons could hold me down The sky is grey as bathwater the whole block makes no sound There’s a bird on the gutter tilting one black eye I wish I knew how to answer when the world asks if I’m fine I’m not crying, I’m just weather I’m not gone, I’m halfway through There’s a room behind the smoke where I still remember you Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me I look fine from the street but I’m hard to reach Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me Say my name, say it clean bring me back to me Don’t ask the sky what I couldn’t say Hold out your hand and I’ll find the shape Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me I look fine from the street but I’m hard to reach Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me Say my name, say it clean bring me back to me Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me I look fine from the street but I’m hard to reach Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me Say my name, say it clean bring me back to me Where my face should be there’s a cloud over me
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